Your Best Birth

I picked up a book, Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, you might have watched A Business of Being Born, the documentary they did a few years ago. So far it's been a great read. One thing I found really interesting was a part about pain medication and discovered that with each of my births, my ideas of pain medication during birth has changed, somewhat dramatically. They cited another book by Penny Simkin called The Pain Medication Scale.
I'm not going to list everything here but the scale starts out with
+10 I want to be numb, to get anesthesia before labor begins(an impossible extreme)
to
0 I have no opinion or preference. I will wait and see(a rare attitude among pregnant women)
to
-10 I want no medication, even for a casarean delivery(an impossible extreme)
Of course with varying degrees in between.
When I was pregnant with my first I can honestly say I was at 0, I had no preference, if I made it without pain medication then good for me but if I felt like I couldn't I would get it. I was honestly very uneducated when it came to birthing, no research was done, I knew that I didn't want pain but never thought about searching for other ways to reduce pain other than the normal pain medications. Result= narcotics and epidural. Two hours into the induction I just could't stand the pain, of course I was just laying in bed and my loving husband was sleeping(he had just gotten off a night shift). So there was a feeling of lack of support and my loving nurse said "I can make all the pain go away". Who wouldn't cave in at that point? Overall I loved my birth, labor only lasted 10 hours, after the epidural I hardly felt anything, the only thing I would have changed was the coached pushing that lasted 2 1/2 hours. But at that time the pushing seemed normal, I had nothing to compare it to.
With my second pain scared me. I was scared that my labor would progress so fast that I wouldn't be able to receive my blessed epidural and would have to experience the pain I missed with my first. I had heard that second labors usually go faster than firsts and with my first only being 10 hours long..... Yes, I was scared. On the pain management scale I was a
+7 I want anesthesia as soon in labor as the doctor will allow or before labor becomes painful.
Sign me up! Was my model and I let those nurses know it. I got my way. Epidural, 7 hours of labor, 10 minutes of pushing, it was perfect.
With my third, epidurals were still in my game plan. They seemed to work for me. I was induced at 36 weeks because I had developed pre-eclampsia. Induction to birth was 12 hours. I went from 4 to 12 in one hour. Everything happened so fast that went I mentioned the idea of an epidural the nurse said "if I sit you up for the epidural your baby will pop right out" Maddened I thought, " then sit me up" I was told not to push, only because the doctors were not there. My baby was not handed to me right away, instead he was bundled up and rushed to the nursery because he wasn't holding his temperature. To this day I wonder why kangaroo care wasn't the first choice and blame myself for being knocked up on the narcotics given to me an hour before I gave birth for not having the state of mind to advocate for my child. His whole birth changed me in so many ways. I was first empowered. I can do it without an epidural! It's not necessary. Definately no more narcotics for me, I want to be in charge of my births, how can I do that when I can't think straight? The idea of no more pain medication led me to researching alternatives. Through home birthing mothers and documentaries I decided that now on the pain medication scale I am a
-9 I want medication to be denied by my support team and the staff, even if I beg for it
I first decided that if I ever gave birth in the hospital again I would need to fight for my rights. I would need some more support than just my husband, someone who would help me advocate when I was in pain. I wanted to be able to be free to move. Didn't the nurse tell me if I sat up my baby would pop right out? Yes, I wanted that. Through inspiring people and stories I've decided that a birth at home would be my best birth place and I am now looking forward to it. No drugs. Freedom of movement. A relaxing atmosphere. Sleeping in my own bed. The only thing I might miss is food being brought to me but I might be able to save so we can order out for the first couple days or convince my loving husband that he is responsible for it, he is already looking forward to changing the first diaper, he was always on diaper duty in the hospitals. Maybe I can change more diapers and he can bring me food in bed? We will see.